Hell & Bliss
by OrangeCanada99
Summary: Jonathan and Tammy find themselves unable to classify their relationship. Are they friends, or are they foes? Tammy goes on a search for the truth about Sandy and what exactly his past has to do with Jonathan.


PROLOGUE

Tammy Winslow rushed into Cedars Memorial Hospital, her long blonde hair blowing in the wind behind her, her coat unbuttoned and flapping in the fresh early morning air, her purse dangling loosely from where it had slipped off her shoulder to rest on her forearm. Outside the city noise was almost unbearable to her ears, yet once inside the thick sliding glass doors of the emergency room she found the strict silence just as bad. She reached the nurses station in record time, hearing little else beside the clip clap of her high heels on the linoleum floor and the hard and fast beating of her own heart.

"Sandy Foster, he was brought in here a few hours ago…I need to see him!" Tammy rattled off urgently at the young nurse behind the desk.

The nurse nodded her head and quickly scanned the computer in front of her. "Second floor, room number 212." The young nurse replied, pointing towards the elevator.

Tammy sped off across the waiting area and to the door for the elevator, she pressed the up button numerous times and looked up to watch the numbers light up as the elevator slowly made its descent down to the ground level. Behind her Jonathan Randall squeezed her hand tightly inside his own, offering silent support he knew she needed at this moment. She turned around quickly and looked up into his deep brown eyes, for a few minutes she had been so consumed with her own thoughts and emotions she had completely forgotten that he was right behind her…holding her hand tightly and not letting go.

She felt her eyes well up quickly with tears and felt the giant lump rising in her throat. She leaned against his solid chest, resting her head against him and hugging him tightly around the waist. He said nothing, but placed his own arms around her and hugged her against himself just as tightly.

'How could this be happening?' She thought silently to herself. "What are we going to do?" She whispered, still holding onto him tightly.

She heard the ding of the elevator as the doors slid open, signalling that it had arrived on the ground floor. They both walked sideways into the empty elevator car, not really watching what they were doing, or caring. As the doors slid closed Jonathan grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her back from him, forcing her to look up into his face and into his eyes. "Whatever we have to, whatever we want to." He said simply.

As his words hit her she couldn't help but allow herself to smile through her tears. He could always make her smile when she needed to. She nodded her head slowly and hugged him quickly before standing back and beaming up at him. "Yeah, whatever we want." She confirmed.

Jonathan reached behind her and pressed the proper button to take them up to the second floor. Then he reached down and grabbed both of her hands into his own, holding them gently. He bent down and brought his lips to hers, pushing all of the passion and emotion he could muster into their kiss. Everything he needed and wanted was placed in that kiss, all of their emotion rolled up into one tended to explode when they let it…even if they didn't. He walked forward, forcing her to walk back and end up against the side wall of the elevator. He continued to kiss her, even though his lungs were begging for air. His mind, body, and heart were begging him to go on, not to stop, ever. Tammy's body was demanding the same time, and she refused to let go, refused to stop.

The resounding ding and sudden stop of the elevator forced them apart, Tammy with a sigh, and Jonathan with a deep groan. They stepped through those waiting to get on into the long hospital corridor , and as soon as the doors closed once more Tammy pushed Jonathan into an empty doorway to shield them from anyone else who may have been around.

"What?" He asked, looking at her questioningly.

She grabbed the open sides of his jacket and pulled him towards her roughly, forcing his lips down onto her own once more. She kissed him over and over, harder and tougher each time. She pressed her body against the length of his and snaked her arms up his chest to wrap tightly around his neck. Jonathan acted almost instantly and grabbed her small waist, lifting her up and grabbing her under her bottom. She complied with his silent request, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist, giving them that extra few inches of contact they both desperately needed. Again she found herself pushed up against a wall, and again she felt her lungs fighting for more oxygen. She felt her blood pumping, her heart pounding, and slowly she began to lose all coherent thought…finding herself capable of thoughts of nothing else but the man in front of her, the feelings he was giving her, and the kiss he was sharing with her.

She could feel them moving once again, for her back lost contact with the wall and felt Jonathan trip slightly as he slammed into the halfway closed door of the doorway they were currently occupying. She pulled back and looked down at him, a sinful twinkle in her eye and gasping for breathe, and found a grin plastered across his face. She smiled and shook her head slightly and was leaning back down to capture his lips once more when a loud voice bombed throughout the corridor, startling them both.

"Code Blue, Room 345, Code Blue." The voice boomed around them.

Tammy let her legs fall back down and Jonathan slowly let her go to land gently back on the solid floor. A sudden burst of activity had begun around them as doctors and nurses rushed up and down the hallway in search of room 345. "That's not Sandy's room is it?" She asked, looking quickly between all the people rushing past them.

Jonathan shook his head back and forth. "No, the chick at the desk said 212."

Tammy nodded her head and smiled back at him. "Yeah, yeah of course." She was slowly starting to lose control again in the sudden commotion that was going on around them.

Reaching behind her she grabbed his hand in her own and pulled him back out into the hallway and down the hallway. She checked the posted signs to point them in the proper direction and followed them closely. Finally they turned the final corner and she came to a sudden stop, saying nothing but staring straight ahead into the window of the room in front of them. She took a few quick steps back, forcing Jonathan to retreat slightly and stay well within the shadows. "That's him." She whispered.

Jonathan moved his eyes to look into the room in front of them and nodded, even though she couldn't see his reaction. He could see a battered, bruised, and still bloody Sandy lying in the hospital bed, unmoving and seemingly unconscious. He was hooked up to a million different machines, each monitoring something and working to keep him alive. Tammy looked back at him quickly, and he couldn't help but notice the tears in her eyes. He hated seeing her hurting…it ate away at him. While a large part of him wanted nothing more than to feel happiness and joy over seeing his biggest enemy lying in that hospital bed and fighting for his life, the look of fear and helplessness on Tammy's face made him feel something different…something sadder. He wasn't quite sure whether those feelings were for Tammy or for Sandy…but he pushed it all aside and let himself focus solely on Tammy.

The deafening silence was back, as was the thick and fast pounding of her own heart in her ears. Her chest was even beginning to hurt as her heart tried to smash its way out of her body, and her eyes were beginning to burn from her falling tears. She took a few steps forward, pulling Jonathan along behind her, not realizing they still were joined by their hands. She made her way to the door and reached out with her free hand to grasp the doorknob when she jerked suddenly as if she had been burnt and turned around to face Jonathan. She put her hands on his chest and pushed him back to just around the corner. "I can't go in there, I can't…not like this!" She freaked, almost shaking.

Jonathan grabbed her by the shoulders in a poor attempt to steady her and looked down into her shining blue eyes, concern etched clear across his own face. "What, like what?" He asked, becoming more and more confused by the second.

She lifted her left hand and turned her palm towards her own face, holding the hand between their faces. "Like, this!" She exclaimed, shaking her hand vigorously.

Jonathan looked at her hand and realised what she was trying to point out to him. It made him smile. "Why not?" He asked, still smiling slightly.

She gave him an exasperated stare and grabbed her left ring finger with her right hand and began to pull the two rings off that she was wearing. She reached out with her now free left hand and grabbed his hand and brought it in between them, forcing him to hold his palm up. She placed the rings into the centre of his upturned palm and closed his fingers over the rings, pushing his hand back up at him afterwards.

He looked down at her, alarmed, the smile now completely gone from his face. "What are you doing?" He asked, concerned and fearful.

"Hold them for me." She stated, smiling up at him reassuringly. "Just keep them until it's safe enough for me to have them back…alright?"

He continued to look down at her, not quite sure whether he was hearing her right or whether he wanted to hear what she was saying. Finally he nodded his head slowly. "I'll hold them for you." He confirmed. "Just until it's safe though, not a minute longer."

She thanked him by standing on her tiptoes and leaning in to kiss him soundly on the lips. He kissed her back with all the love he felt for her and when she pulled back, much too soon for his liking, he attempted to fight it by leaning in towards her instead. She laughed slightly and pushed him away playfully. She turned back towards the door and reached out again to open it. As she turned the knob, she looked back at him and whispered, "I love you."

He nodded his head once. "I love you." He replied automatically, feeling his heart swell. It was a feeling he was still trying to get used to. He followed her into the hospital room and looked around at those occupying it as he closed the door behind them. Sandy was now awake, but looking very pale and in pain, Coop Bradshaw was sitting in a chair next to him, and Father Ray was standing on his opposite side holding his Bible open in his hands.

"Thank God you guys are here." Coop stated, moving to stand up and offering his chair to Tammy. She took it, sitting down and reaching over to grasp Sandy's hand. She looked over at him, almost at a loss for words regarding how he looked at the moment. Jonathan moved to stand next to Father Ray, keeping his eyes on Tammy the entire time.

Tammy looked at Sandy questioningly as he smiled up at her. "What's going on?" She asked, looking around at the others, allowing her eyes to stay on Jonathan a second longer than necessary.

Sandy looked over at Father Ray and then back at Tammy and smiled slightly once more. He lifted his other hand and Tammy could see he was holding a black velvet ring box. He popped it open slowly and turned it to face her, a diamond ring and two gold wedding bands lay inside. "Tammy…the doctors say I don't have much time left, and the one thing I want more than anything is to leave this place as your husband…I know it's not under the type of circumstances we had always hoped of, but we have a priest willing to marry us," He motioned to Father Ray. "As well as two witnesses," He continued, motioning to first Coop and then Jonathan. "So will you grant me this one final wish, and become my wife?"

She looked fleetingly at first Father Ray and then Coop, and then panicked over to Jonathan and then Sandy. She couldn't believe this was happening, Sandy was dying in front of her, had been told by the doctors that he didn't have much time left, and while she didn't even know exactly what had happened to him to get him into this condition, his last and final wish was for her to marry him? How could she possibly say no to him, and on his deathbed at that?

Coop clapped her on the shoulder gently in an attempt of support, thinking that this new batch of tears currently running down her face was out of happiness.

Only Jonathan knew the real meaning of the tears.

She was torn, they both knew it. Yet…they also both knew what her answer would be. She looked back up at Jonathan and blinked rapidly, trying to bring his blurring face into clear view. When she did, she almost wished she hadn't. One single tear was rolling down his cheek. He brushed it away quickly as if he was rubbing his nose to relieve an itch…but she knew better, and he knew that. It pained them both more than they ever thought possible. She tilted her head to the right and looked down quickly, her hidden attempt at a sorry.

When she looked back up, the tears had stopped and she turned to Sandy and nodded slowly. "Yes, I'll marry you."

The smile on Sandy's face upon her confirmation almost made her tears start back up again. It made her heart lurch, that she knew for sure. She had never seen him look so happy, even looking so bad he could still manage to look the happiest in his life. Sandy turned to Father Ray and nodded his head, signalling the older man to begin the ceremony. Passages were read, vows were exchanged, and a new set of rings were slipped onto her finger which until only minutes ago had not been bare. As Father Ray went on, supposedly cementing her to this dying man for the rest of his short life, she stole glances up at Jonathan. He nodded his head slowly when she had stalled at putting the ring onto Sandy's finger, and even looked down at his own gold band on his left ring finger. When Father Ray had pronounced the pair Husband and Wife he had turned away, not wanting or allowing himself to see their kiss.

When Tammy pulled back and opened her eyes she smiled down at Sandy. The amount of medication he was on allowed him to believe it was a happy smile, but when she turned to look up at Jonathan's shining brown eyes he knew it was a sad smile, insanely sad. Her heart was breaking, as was his. She looked down at the new rings on her finger and then back up at Jonathan and mouthed the words, "I'm sorry." Silently. His only comfort was that they both knew it all wasn't actually real.

All the looks, and finally the silent words didn't go unnoticed by one though: Coop.


End file.
